Shrek 2
Today is May 15th, and it’s now the twentieth anniversary of the second movie in what would become the Shrek Franchise, starring Mike Myers are the titular Ogre Shrek, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, and Antonio Banderas. Now some of you may be wondering why didn’t I write anything on the original Shrek.
To put it simply, I didn’t think of it and I missed my window. It happens. But that’s for another time. Let’s get to the brass tacks.
So there you go. Shrek got a wife, Prince Charming got gipped. And Donkey is trying to freeload….er, housesit. Now we’re all caught up.
But there’s still a bit more going on here. Turns out, now that she’s married, Fiona’s parents—the King and Queen of Far Far Away…yes that’s the actual name— want to meet her new beau (who they expect to be charming….in more ways than one).
Shrek thinks it’s a bad idea to go, but Fiona convinces him to go, and everyone is pleased.
Yes. Everyone was pleased. Especially the Fairy Godmother, aka the one who put Fiona under the sleeping spell and in the castle in the first place.
I assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact her son is Prince Charming.
Or the fact that she’s essentially a damn magical mob boss, who cut a deal with the King for Charming to be the one to marry Fiona. And since Fairy Godmother trumps the king of an entire kingdom, the king has no choice but to do something about it.
The answer is, to hire an assassin.
Right. You all know who this guy is. I know I’m not fooling anyone. Time for the clip!
Learning that the king wants him dead is enough to convince Shrek that a change is in order. He’s even willing to make a deal with Fiona’s Fairy Godmother, unaware of just who said Fairy Godmother really is….oh. A Godmother who’s like a mob boss, like the Godfather. I get it now. Man, that’s so obvious. Either I forgot or I never noticed. Let’s all assume the former. Makes me sound smarter.
Anyway, Shrek goes to cut a deal to become what he thinks is a better choice for Fiona. The Fairy Godmother is less than accommodating on that, but it’s not a problem that can’t be solved via stealing. So he yoinks a happily ever after potion, that will change not just his appearance, but Fiona’s as well. Both he and Donkey try it (the latter goes first to test it), and….nothing happens.
… immediately that is. Needless to say, there is a change. As advertised, Fiona is also affected, changing back into the human Princess she was before.
There’s still a catch though. Shrek has to obtain Fiona’s kiss by midnight to make the potion permanent. So he’s gotta motor and get back to her quickly. And of course, Human Shrek will kiss her, never be an ogre again and that’ll be the end of the Shrek Franchise.
Yup, that’s right. The film series is over folks. Nothing can stop this. First, they get him out of his old clothes.
Dammit ladies, you know what I meant. After that, he heads back to the kingdom to meet Fiona, but the Fairy Godmother and Charming pull a fast one. The Godmother isolates Shrek from Fiona and sets up her son to pretend to be the Human Shrek. Since Fiona doesn’t actually know what he looks like, it works….kinda of.
And then she [the Fairy Godmother] convinces Shrek to let it happen because it would make Fiona happy. Is it true? Nope, but he believes it. There’s just one more issue. The king meets with the Fairy Godmother and points out that you can’t force Fiona to fall for Charming and since his ruse of being Shrek is only going to work for so long, she’ll eventually catch on. The Fairy Godmother just opts for a Love Potion, because we all know how ethical those are.
Shrek listens in on all of this and now he knows the plot, but gets his ass arrested before he can make it to the castle. But Fiona’s smart. She knows Charming isn’t him. I will spare you the obvious joke about him “not being all that charming at all” because I’m classy like that. Plus, I think that joke gets used with a lot of parodies of Charming. Anyway, the King still has doubts about all of this as well. The only thing making him consider giving Fiona the potion is that he himself got a gift from the Fairy Godmother that she can take back at any time.
So yes, she made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. But that’s not important. Shrek is broken out by some other buddies, and now it’s time to punk a Prince.
Time for the big finale. What constitutes this finale? First off, a giant Gingerbread man.
Second, a musical number and montage
And then, the fight!
So that’s it. The Fairy Godmother is defeated, Charming is headbutted, and Fiona chooses not to let herself and Shrek stay human, deciding she wants to be with the Ogre she married. Cut to a dance party ending, and that’s that.
Shrek 2 continues the parodic nature of its predecessor. Some of the stuff it does is probably not all that original today and may not have been that creative back then either, but it’s ultimately just trying to be a fun movie. As I joked before, there would be two more movies after this one: Shrek 3 and Shrek Forever After. And that’s…
…Wait. There are plans for a Shrek 5? Really? Well, ok. There were also two spin-off movies for Puss in Boots. The first movie, simply called “Puss in Boots” and the sequel, which came out in 2022, called “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish”. In between that, he had his own TV series as well.
And that’s….wait. There’ve been a few TV specials and series. Let’s see here.
…..Holy shit. They went all in on this, didn’t they? I’m shocked the cow ain’t dry yet….or maybe it is. Either way, that’s Shrek 2.
TOB: The Omni-Blog 